i get bored sometimes.

media studies gcse work.

sometimes when i get bored i take apart my old keyboard to clean it and each of it's keys, then put it back together. it's very therapeutic. sometimes when i get nervous i rub my nails so i look like i'm casually inspecting my manicure. sometimes when i want to stop pretending this isn't happening, i allow myself ten minutes of daydreaming about my life if i wasn't wrong.

isn't it swell? isn't life just swell?

ugh. i can't continue this charade. i spend most of my time wondering whether guys approach me because the fat girl is usually more willing to talk to you, or whether i look like the kind of girl who will meet you today and screw you tomorrow. or whether i am that girl. i still count my calories in my head and someday perhaps the peculiar swirl on the back of my teeth will become so prominent that it will hurt to drink. perhaps not. perhaps perhaps all these possibilities of life.

on a lighter note i have no more exams and i'm going to get drunk tomorrow so i can forget for a moment. even if it is only for a moment.

OMG. SILVER FROM 90210 IS IN SEASON 3, EPISODE 13 OF GREY'S ANATOMY AND I'M WATCHING HER GET A VAGINAL EXAM. I AM EASILY EXCITED.

also, everytime the words 'big willy' are said in the will smith song party starter, i laugh.