Thursday, April 29, 2010

just reminiscing

me + mon on the way out.

this picture just cracked me up
brian has the best face

get crunk. it's just tits in this picture. and my back.

this is last summer. also, this shows what my hair does through a night out in hk. tied up at first to avoid it sticking to me - sunny days = sweatssss. then i pull it out and it's quite composed for a bit, looks sort of wavy and shampoo ad. and then finally it's 5 am and i'm a sweaty bitch.

er yeah, i should have been asleep a while ago. plus i have a c2 mock tomorrow so i should get rest. but meh. i'm kind of awake. i also really need to pee so i'll probably check that shit out in a sec.

we pity in others only those evils which we ourselves have experienced - jean jacques rousseau

Monday, April 26, 2010



i love this dress. old pix.

just went to see the ghost - it was pretty incredible. shame about the kiddyfiddlin'.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

i swear i could spend whatever on it

i took this for a photo contest; title; pills.
i think the white one on the top is nurofen. i don't know what any of the others are, i just looked through the medicine cabinet and took a bunch.

i think i need to weigh myself again but i think it'd be better if this didn't become one of those horrendously personal weight blogs. i have xanga for that. i don't think i'm ready to be public about most of this. not sure if i'll ever be. but i realize that. so it's okay. i just finished off a history essay and i'm just lying in bed reading at the moment. might watch a film later. it's sunday so i guess postsecret's updated. i'll take a look in a bit.


forrest gump always makes me cry. the bit at the end where he meets his kid always gets me and when he asks if he's stupid... and when he's talking to jenny's grave...oh man <3

Saturday, April 24, 2010

that's people. we arrive, consume what we can and then leave. like locusts.

george <3

i made brownies today they were yumyumyummmmy
i'm just chilling in my living room watching daytime TV. and eating spicy crisps.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

NOBODY MOVE..well you can move, no-one cares about you

We've been conditioned to think that change is good and exciting, but what if it's not? What if it's actually very bad and very dangerous?

oh janitor <3

hello pretty picture made out of cassette tape. i'm hungry, i kind of want a chocolate muffin.

'ma peep was sleepy'
erm jokes.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

it's impossible to fit all the dudemeisters at one table without our wedding looking like oktoberfest

the door to hell

zach braff's yearbook picture. LOLOLOLOL
he actually hasn't changed very much.

i love love love scrubs. i'm hungry. i dry-fried noodles earlier with nommy chicken and spam and they were delicious.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

gooood morning reasons why i drink.

i love dr. cox.

a little dose of cute.

and a little dose of lol.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

mmmm shoes.

alexander mcqueen <3

it's such a shame. college tomorrow fuckety poo


it's amahhhzing.

it's 9:26 and i am awake for work. i really don't want to go but i need money. i still haven't done this history essay and i can't find my questions booklet. frick. i'm beginning to realize how stupid it was to choose chemistry as a subject - it's totally irrelevant and i don't like science. i think i liked it at gcse because mr amoah was a good teacher. not that my current teachers are shit, but one's actually a bio teacher and the other one has a voice that sends me to sleep...

what the fuck am i doing?

hello, is it me you're looking for?

nom nom lionel richie

i have work tomorrow. went to chinatown today for katherine's 21st - so much good food. duck pancakes, scallops, prawn balls, pakchoi and broccoli, pigeon, chicken, and lobster. mmmmmmm. and cake.

this is the decadent day of the month.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


so it's a work in progress

you said you would never leave me, i believe you i believe

letters to anyone.

dear _____,

i miss you. i miss poker and thursdays and i miss you. not even in a i'm miserable without you way. i just miss things we had. things we did together. just times we had together that were good. and times that weren't so great, but they were still okay because..because they were. i remember the three of us. we were good together.


dear _____,

i think about you a lot. about you and me a lot. and how we could be? perhaps that's not right. what we are, but better? maybe. possibly. i'm an idiot. i should have gone to sleep an hour ago but i stayed up anyway. to do what? who knows what i'm thinking when i think of you. even i don't know. i just feel so good around you. not happy as such, but something like it? i can't describe it.


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

i like thunderstorms.

so i was going to go to sleep an hour ago, but i can't sleep and i don't really want to. watching goldmember and trying not to lean on either side because i got my second lobes pierced today. i'm hungry. not going to eat though - it's way too late. my work is overwhelming. i am inundated with a terrible fear that i'll fail again. i'll have to die if that happens. it's not dramatic and it's not foolish - i honestly don't see myself having a future if i don't do well in june. and i don't want to work in a chinese restaurant for the rest of my life. and i couldn't bear to be a disappointment. never. and you don't even know this. fuck's sake. see me. understand that i find it incredibly hard to stop this happening. understand that if i've become so, i tried my best to stay away. it'll get me in the end. it always does.

Monday, April 12, 2010

the sound of music :)

new skirt, tights and shoesss

i love this film. going to the oxfam boutiques tomorrrrow with georgepants. i'm happy today. in a strange sort of way. i'm not entirely sure of this other feeling besides that it's new, but yet familiar. like bumping into some guy you got off with four years ago, or something. but i feel fine.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

mmmmmmmmmmm foodz

made a really buff cheese and salami sandwich, then made some strawberry jelly. and a big pan of fried fish rice. and i'm making brownies later. OMMMMM NOMMM NOMMM NOMMMM

allowed work today, felt kind of ill, actually. today is a nice day.

yesterday's outfit. butterz face, ignore it. i'm too tired to get out of bed, let alone get dressed. plus i somehow managed to get my hair filthy greasy in a day. no idea what's going on. watching csi, napping occasionally. i need a smoke but carmen's still here, ffs. they have to be in chinatown by 7 so i take it i'll be alone by sixish. i like being home alone, actually. it's nice.

Friday, April 09, 2010


you float like a feather in a beautiful world
i wish i was special; you're so fuckin' special

but i'm a creep - i'm a weirdo
what the fuck am i doing here?
i don't belong here

i don't care if it hurts, i wanna have control
i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul

i want you to notice when i'm not around
you're so fucking special; i wish i was special

started working on my wreck this journal. pages in progress.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

le tired.

but rodarte = love love love.

first day of harrow school tuition today. maths was really good. chemistry, not so much. i'm really tired though - walked around a lot. the food is nice, actually. i don't exactly like it, but it'll be good for me. lots of things are good for me but i still haven't gotten around to doing them yet. i'm going to sleep now.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

my throat is killing me

being ill sucks.

but my recent searches mean that i get drunk and pop hydro while listening to jimi hendrix, eating tortellini and hunting through brick lane for peaches geldof. and nomming snorkle cheese

Friday, April 02, 2010

AA today

i'm now 127.
my weight fluctuates insanely.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

and i can still see the graves of the dead.

please don't take him just because you can your beauty is beyond compare with flaming locks of auburn hair with ivory skin and eyes of emerald green your smile is like a breath of spring your voice is soft like summer rain and I cannot compete with you jolene he talks about you in his sleep there's nothing i can do to keep from crying when he calls your name, jolene

herro dolly parton moment.

i've started listening to old stuff again. i remember when all i did for a month was listen to funeral for a friend. i'm really tired. tomorrow i'm going to the AA rummage sale with henry und georgee, hopefully i'll pick up something nice.

i'm just so sexy

elizabeth and james. i could never wear these, but they're so gorgeous. lace & buttons - uhhh yum. things i dream about include these shoes, having the legs to wear these shoes, valentino's spring 2010 ready-to-wear collection, a nice bicycle, control over the weather and driving lessons.

oh and these burberry prorsum boots.


what the fuck. i think my scales are broken. i am now 140 pounds. i was 130, then i was 120 something, then apparently i was 116 the other day. and now i'm 140? i'm confused. and fat, apparently.

okay, i was wearing a lot of clothing. despite this, i am 137 or so. what the actual fuck. i'm horrifically confused. i thought i could do this but i am completely bemused. i should stop eating so much. fuckerrr. and i found out that i can't smoke throughout the duration of the harrow school course. i'm actually just going to fall over, and die. without smoking, i will have to fill the void of my being with something, which will probably be food. so i'm going to gain more weight. i'm considering applying for visa electron just so i can buy fucking pills off the internet. i feel like such shit it's disgraceful. i'm disgraceful.
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