viki went shopping and spent a week's wages on a dress

i also bought tweezers and new concealer. i like shopping. this dress will have to be worn with tights and several layers however. damn this winter. i'm watching the princess diaries XD

i'm so cool...NOT

i need to buy new underwear, and tweezers.

i've lost all the tweezers in my house and i can't tweeze anything ARGGHH

jason asked me if i wanted 'a package' for christmas. i laughed.

i'm having lunch with my cousin tomorrow.

i need to pee.

i'm so exciting,

today has been standard.

i have work tomorrow and i'm way tired. i have to wash my hair in the morning.
jason decided to go on facebook chat to me and say 'i miss ur mouth'
i'm like... crass much?
and now you regret it.
bah.
tbh, i'm not really bothered about getting laid at this point in time. i have too much work to do, and exams, and just ugh. i've never been at a point when i'm dying for a shag. cigarettes is a wholeeeee different story. so whatever. perhaps i'll give into the carnal instinct of mindless fucking or perhaps i'll disdain him. i don't know. right now all i can think about right now is crawling into bed and having a nice long sleep.

i'm running on empty and can't do much about it. however, natteh just rang - she's at paramore - so i had a nice listen. :)

everytime i think about you

i feel like some-one has taken me and clenched me. just crushed me in a giant fist. you drive me insane without even knowing it and i don't think i care anymore. i have a maths mock tomorrow afternoon. i'm going to die die die die. i start late though, so it's cooool. i might or might not be seeing beckyyy tomorrow - hopefully i will. i haven't seen her in absolutely ages. there are so many things i haven't done in so long and it's beginning to spill. i'm not sure if i can go on pretending. i'm not sure i need to. i'm not sure of anything at all.

i have to go to harrow tomorrow morning and buy cigarettes and possibly go to burger king and get 'tater tots'. i love napoleon dynamite. why aren't things easier?

so i felt really lame today.

and decided to stitch 'ily' into my shirtsleeve. i couldn't think of anything better, besides 'fuck' and my mum does my laundry.
i'm tired and have a maths mock tomorrow. i haven't revised. i set myself up for failure. isn't this just fucking fabulous.

teenage dirtbag

always comes up on spotify.

i'm realll tired but i want to watch SATC. or maybe i should go to sleep at a decent hour for once. or maybe not. who knows. i should probably go take a shower and wash the mop i call hair. it's icky. the weather is ridiculous. i'm still not wearing jeans and it's like 3 degress celsius. or something. maybe it'll snow this christmas and i'll get to forget. i don't think dad's coming over for the new year this year. i don't think my brother and i are so high on his priority list anymore. not surprising really. but c'est la vie.

not like i can make him do anything. i've decided i'm going to get driving lessons. if only so that i can drive around instead of waiting around on shitty public transport or expecting my mother to ferry me about. i'm going to go and listen to placebo and take a showerrr

in bed watching CSI and drinking enough water to fill a tub.

i'm trying to detox. which, admittedly, is somewhat counteracted by the smoking. but i'm trying to cut down on fizz and drink my recommended two litres. i've been peeing like crazy. maaaaan i'm real tired. my wrists are itchyyyy, as is the rest of my arms. and also some of my leg. perhaps more allergies are surfacing. whatever. i can't find my clinique moisturizer. this is stressing me out hugely for something so miniscule.

i feel like my brain's not working. i had a cleaning fit earlier and i can now see parts of my room/bed/floor/desk that i haven't seen in a good month or so. i just forget to put laundry away and that shit piles up. but anyway. i just feel so disconnected with everything at the moment. when i'm alone i just seem to melt into myself until i'm just sitting there staring at nothing. i pull myself together once a week when i have to see people, but the loneliness isn't even painful anymore. it's just a part of me. bloody bloody bloody bloody bloody fuck.