Wednesday, February 03, 2010

watching embarrassing illnesses and chuckling away

there's ingrown toenails, colostomy bags and a bent penis so far. not really the most interesting bunch i've seen. i'm having doubts about the whole oxford affair - this one girl did the same AS as me, except i dropped critical thinking. she got into oxford to do law with perfect grades. some other people with perfect grades didn't get in. i have much less than perfect grades. i just worry about this sort of thing and then i have a meltdown at some point in the year. every year since i was about 12 this has just repeated because there's always been something to freak out at.

i wish i could calm down sometimes, i really do. i actually wish i was 10 forever. i could just be content with reading my books and not being so horribly self-conscious and have some faith in myself. i don't like this growing up shit.

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