i live a life i feel the pain to sing this song to tell the tale i wish i never even heard the song i see the world it makes me puke but then i look at you and know that somewhere there's a someone who can soothe me

piercings today.

We've just been introduced,
I do not know you well,
But when the music started
Something drew me to your side.

So many men and girls,
Are in each others arms.
It made me think we might be
Similarly occupied.

Tell me what makes a man
Wanna give you all his heart
Smile when you're around
And cry when you're apart



got my right helix and tragus done today by the wolfmannn
now my ear is throbbing...-.-
me and henry went to hip parade and floated around in a cloak and an afro wig. good times. well, i did. he managed to find various stained garments. and i ended up trying on a giant pile of fur. niceeee

still have to finish the english coursework, i've got the weekend.

just went online shoppin'

http://www.etsy.com/shop/sbdesignz


aren't they cute? 6 usd each, so that comes to about eight quid :)

fuck.

i get really hormonal and post crazy things. now they're gone. lalala

i'm feeling so horribly overwhelmed at the moment.

i have a lot of applications to fill out and statements to write and work to do and everytime i see you i die inside.

THINGS I NEED TO BAIII

the black/grey/bone ones are beautiful. ohhh they're so pretty.





okay fair enough i will look chunkymonkeyyy in both of these but they're so pretty.

also, i fail at resisting food. ugh, i'm so disgusting. trying to focus on chemistry work. and personal statement writing. and various other bullshit.

i have far too much work to do.

my brother has lots of pikchurzzzzz of me, so i'm stealin' them. i need to do an english essay for tomorrow, and then my first draft of my death of a salesman recreative piece is in for friday. frickin frickin frick. of course i haven't started the piece. i guess i'll be working feverishly. i should really start doing work earlier, but then i always do this and i don't think it'll change. you don't see me, and that won't change. nothing changes.

oh good lord jesus

i am 58 kg - when did this happen. excuse me while i starve for a week, what the fuck. ugh. college life = junkfood. but seriously, that creeped up on me like a bitch. so until i get back to about 52 kg i should go ahead and forget about eating normally for at least a month, but probably more, given my affinity with fried food. i wish i didn't have taste buds.

redorangeyellowgreenblueindigoviolet

"you see, this is the problem with modern society. we are no longer benevolent people, we only work to be rewarded..as a communist, you should be up for charity"


this is apparently how people ask for sexual favours these days that they don't return. hysterical stuff. i have so much work to do and i'm not doing it because i am re-decorating my room with postcards.







'homeless mustard' - http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/9SB7zz/www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXlzci1rKNM

going to notts tomorrow

it dawned on me today that i have crazy amounts of work today, what the fuck. it just jumped on me like a fuckin' rapist, this is bad times. my hair is dirty, i'm dirty rah rah rah. playing monopoly and eating apples and dirty carbs. dirty dirty dirttt i feel so disgraceful. candy canes and nerds rope = heaven. forgot to watch skins, will watch it on plus one laterrrr. i kind of feel like not doing anything at all but i have to go to notts amirite. fricking fricking frickkk i feel so empty at the moment i don't even understand this apathy.


edit://

and now i'm out of a lay which is just so inconvenient, i always end up shagging the ones who have major complexes/drug problems/a penchant for little girls.



WHERE EVERYTHING WAS EVERYTHING BUT EVERYTHING IS OVER
EVERYTHING COULD BE EVERYTHING IF ONLY WE WERE OLDER
I GUESS IT'S JUST A SILLY SONG ABOUT YOU
AND HOW I LOST YOU AND YOUR BROWN EYES



gagaaaa

early mornings from a lifetime ago

old times, you know


it's ten past four and i can hear the birds tweeting outside of the window. to join them - what paradise. perhaps to sit on the back step and inhale the morning air with a twist of nicotine is just what i need. after ingesting two bowls of ice cream and a packet of prawn cocktail m&s crisps.

i spent the last three hours reliving childhood games. more fun than i could ever imagine. i'm sort of cold at the moment. tomorrow my mother's friends are coming round at 10:30 - as i'm sleeping on the sofa, this means i must rouse myself before they get here, tidy up my mess, and relocate to my mother's bed to sleep for another two hours.

and at fourteen past the impending doom of the maths exams is so close i can almost taste it; bitter in the mouth. i can't calculate bearings and for the love of god, why were sine, cosine and tangent invented? fucking christ. another question. why on earth am i taking maths a level? because i'm a douche obviously. everyone looks at me weirdly when i tell them what i'm going to do at a level. i'm at a stage where i'm too tired to care.

i'm re-reading old books i haven't touched in years, speaking to old friends - maybe trying to find my past. perhaps just to reminisce. who knows. i can't wait until tomorrow because then there will be new postsecrets. and i adore postsecret. i should also go look at fml for a bit; i won't be sleeping anyway. sleep isn't so important.

a carlsberg imploded in my bag today - a wasted beer and my bag and everything in it smells like a brewery. but oh well. half a pint of cookies and cream Häagen-Dazs should soothe the annoyance of having my wallet smell like a drunk hobo's rags. i'm feeling like fried rice. i made some earlier - egg and frankfurter fried rice, with hot pepper sauce fried in. dash of ketchup. my ability to produce chinese food is somewhat limited. which i suppose is surprising to half my year who carry the misconception that i can produce a perfect 2PL. sorry. can't.

twenty past. still haven't moved from my station on this white leather sofa - leather sofas are a bad idea for me. anyone who knows me is aware that i wear short shorts, short skirts, or nothing. right now i'm wearing a men's shirt and pants. i.e my thighs have attached themselves to the sofa. uncomfortable? incredibly so.

i wonder if south park is on. or maybe one of those weird late-night/early morning movies. i feel like i need a laugh. ugh. a weird pain just started in my back crawling up the spine. that was slightly odd. i'm increasingly aware of acute pains and discomforts lately - my mother calls them 'growing pains' which of course is bollocks. if there's a direction i'm going to grow in it'll be in girth, not in height. i'll be lucky to gain half an inch more throughout my life.

i want exams to end sort of right now. this week i have probably drank enough to fill an exam hall, but alas, i have not yet been motivated to revise. i went through the motions and 'did' a practise paper - but considering i was watching two and a half men at the time, it was more of a movement of the hands. i still don't know how one does a bearing. but oh well. should probably revise slightly more important stuff than that.

i want to go outside right now with somebody - anybody. just to go out of my house and sit somewhere. and watch the sunrise; i haven't seen one for so long. it's looking pretty light out already; if this was winter, the sky is this colour at about 7 a.m. a shade of blue quite without description. my wrists keep itching i'm uncomfortable. i wonder where my mother's tidied my moisturizer. i can hear noises from my brother's room; he's probably watching a movie or some show on iplayer.

i could really use a drink right now. there's vodka cranberries in the fridge, i suppose. maybe getting tanked alone at twenty-eight past four in the morning would only further support my lack of a life. but maybe i don't care anymore. getting smashed is fun when you're with people that you like; and today i like myself. so perhaps i'll go get that bottle and mixxx it up. find an ice cube or two? dash of lime to make it a cosmo. i think there's a plastic lime with lime juice in it somewhere in my kitchen.

if only it was sunny right now i could tan. i fell asleep yesterday tanning and reading anne frank; the diary of a young girl. that book always saddens me. or if i'm feeling particularly emotional, pushes me over. touching the hot metal armrests of a garden chair brings a considerable amount of pain, ladies and gents. it's even worse when you trip and fall face first onto your metal table. christ it hurt.

so we're at thirty-three now and i still don't feel fatigue. i want to make cup noodles; i'm kind of starving right now.

so i'm feeling just a bit like shit.

covent garden and motorbikes


and i have done basically nothing today. except drink, and eat processed noodles. i would go for a shmoke but that involves getting dressed to go outside and that would be far too fatiguing. much easier to lie in bed and drink whiskey coke all day. and watching old ugly betty episodes. i should wash my hair maybe. i should get up maybe. i should do work maybe. i just don't want to do anything because i don't. i can't do this for much longer.




edit://
i really need motivation/social activities/rum

more old photos

my legs do not look like this anymore. i need the sun to come out so i can tan, jesus. in addition to this, i need to do that thing where i eat less. i'm watching mark come out to his mum on ugly betty. naaaaw.

WTF

alexander mcqueen is dead, wtf. no more beautiful shoes for us i guess.

on a side note, i'm feeling good lately. emotionally, that is, i'm still sore from gallows and i feel a little under the weather. but i think this is a good compromise. earlier i had a haircut, trim and shinyyy bloow-dry. it's a little too polished for my liking, so i guess i'll rough it up with a hairband or something. watching CSI in bed is nice and comfy. might see jase sometime during the half, it'll be nice to just do and not have emotions and feelings and blahblahblah.

i need an intense thai massage, my back feels like it's sprained..hey old photoosss

alice in wonderland :)

lovelovelovelovelove. helena bonham carter is just so beautiful. i've been in bed since about half three. life is good. i know i'm going to be achy for days though. watching csi and eating ham sandwiches. i should really wash my hair, but i'm getting it cut on thursday so i might as well wait til tomorrow night to wash it.

GALLOWS

WERE FUCKING AMAZING

note: touched frank carter's right nip and stroked his head. life is good
note2: everything hurts.

wall of death with a knee slide. i did not join.

from me to you.

hi

i like you and you don't know. ahahhh i feel so cool having secrets. okay not really, but i'm not going to tell you because i'm rather hoping it'll go away. i'm kind of a fail today.

i don't have to go into college until twelve tomorrow, but i might go in a bit earlier if only because my house is boring.

things i really like at the moment

joshua radin <3


gold lips; i bought gold liquid eyeliner shizz and it is now my new favourite lipcolour.


scandinavian mythology. odin schmodin, you know


sheer tights; it's now just warm enough. plus they make my legs look really nice in comparison to legs with zero tights.


and geometric series. not only because i have the best maths teacher in the world XD





iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou

lalalalalalalala

i'm disgusting
bp blah blah blah

watching embarrassing illnesses and chuckling away

there's ingrown toenails, colostomy bags and a bent penis so far. not really the most interesting bunch i've seen. i'm having doubts about the whole oxford affair - this one girl did the same AS as me, except i dropped critical thinking. she got into oxford to do law with perfect grades. some other people with perfect grades didn't get in. i have much less than perfect grades. i just worry about this sort of thing and then i have a meltdown at some point in the year. every year since i was about 12 this has just repeated because there's always been something to freak out at.

i wish i could calm down sometimes, i really do. i actually wish i was 10 forever. i could just be content with reading my books and not being so horribly self-conscious and have some faith in myself. i don't like this growing up shit.

mm, bacon noodles

highfiveeee


they are seriously the best. i haven't made them in ages and they are just nom nom nommmm
the weather has been somewhat shitty lately. and it's always the crappy rain that just makes you damp.
i don't like it. i need either bright shining sun or downright pouring rain. i don't like the middle.
i'm going to go and play some silly flash game instead of doing something productive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK2tWVj6lXw


i love rick astley.

i like blue

lovelovelovelovelove







lala lookbook contest, one that i can actually enter. previous was an aa contest, and of course i own nothing from AA because i am pooooooor. nonetheless. youth in revolt is out on friday, and i want to see it because i love michael cera, but i have no monies