postsecrets & happy birthday to me.

katherine's party last weekend; me, nadia and HANRAH.


so it's my birthday today. went out for dimsum, and i'm just chilling in bed watching the sound of music. might dress up and hand candy out to kids, although it's raining so i'm not sure that many will turn up. maybe put the geisha costume back on. i feel good about things. i do.




i love grey's anatomy.

'You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared? Because I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore. ' - meredith grey.

emineminemineminemmmm

due to some debate on facebook i have discovered i'd forgotten how much i love eminem. so i'm just chillin' here listening to his songs, exchanging TBC banter with siany, and i'm not hungry. i don't feel fat today which is good. i have a lot of work to do, but all i really want to do is curl up and read this whole stack of books i have lined up in my bed. northanger abbey, bleak house, frankenstein, emma, etc.

i want to go for a really long walk and end up somewhere new. my cuz is here right now and i promised i'd take her into harrow and show her how to deposit money and maybe do a little shopping, but i kind of feel like going to sit in waterstone's first thing in the morning to read my way through their fiction section. i want pancakes and bacon and maple syrup. i want to sit on the balcony of block 20, 21st floor, flat c, and watch the ships go by. i want to sit in the alcove by that 7-11 in central and drink cold beers. i want to climb onto the roof and wait for the sunrise. i want to grow my hair to my waist. i want to go home. i want to tell you a lot of things, but i won't. i can't. so i won't.

these feelings don't go awayyy

everything i ordered from asos has turned up :) photos will arrive later, i'm curled up in bed and i can't get out to dress up. i did ombre nails earlier. tried out a different colour on each nail, and then clear base on one hand, white base on the other. \



this is with clear base, i couldn't get a decent picture of the other hand. i'm going to wear them for a few days to decided which i like. other things that are new; the bump on the back of my helix is back, my dad is sending me some money, and i've realized that i'm actually quite happy at the moment. college is good, i've been keeping up and grades are good. my weight is fluctuating as usual, but i've lost 2kg since june. not that impressive, seeing as i need to lose another 15, which at this rate would take me a year, but nonetheless an achievement. feeling like things are falling into place. UCAS is all sorted, and soon i can be somewhere else. someone else, perhaps.

watching aladdin and in that mellow sort of mood where thinking about the future doesn't scare me. i mean, i'm thinking of several futures and they all seem like they'd end well for me. even though i like to hang on to a couple of never-going-to-happen events. just in case. hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune - without the words, and never stops at all <3

ASOS!

my outfit from the other day which i can't upload to lookbook, as it's being a wank.
the top's from hong kong. i was going to get it altered tighter but i figured that belting would be a better idea. it has zips on the shoulders, which i'm not sure i like.

my order finally arrived, so i'm in a rather good mood :)



Jonathan Aston Mock Suspender Tights

i loooove these, i saw them on lookbook and loved them.



Lace Trim Pointelle Slip Dress in Nude

this is super super soft and it's going to be part of my halloween costume.



Boudoir Lace Longline Bra in Coral

the sad thing about this is that there aren't matching pants :(



Seam Detail Maxi Skirt

i ordered this a couple of days ago so it should arrive soon - i need a maxi skirt, although for now wearing my dress as a skirt will do.

i also got a couple of comics from neil gaiman's sandman collection; dream country, a game of you and brief lives.

wandering, wondering.

some strange indents i found in my leg when i woke up.

life seems to be happening to me at an awfully fast rate. yet i'd kind of like things to go faster. i need to get away sooner rather than later and i just hope i can. i went to the doctor today and somehow hoped i'd be able to say the things i need to, but i couldn't and i ended up with my repeat prescriptions for asthma pumps and birth control, and a card with a number if i needed to 'talk'. i'm past needing to talk, really. i'm working as hard as i can to make my head stop.