21 days til christmas.

i'm not one to look forward to christmas on the whole. obviously when i was a kid christmas was fun and the presents were wonderful and even in hong kong without snow it was nice. but now it makes me stressed and angry and lonely and all i want to do at christmas is go home. instead i get to go through the double whammy of having to eat a lot of food so i don't look like i'm trying to starve myself and then having to hold in all existing fat and 'casually' lounge about. i can't do a casual lounge. i can't just sit there and not care about how my body looks because i spend every moment between working and hurting thinking about how my body looks. i try too hard to look like i haven't tried - isn't that ridiculous? i plunge into this depression pretty much every year and i'm finding more and more as time goes past that i don't care. i can't care. i just want to lie down in my bed and cry. and sleep. and cry. and sleep. and a combination of the two. i wonder what's going to happen to me.

bruce lee

he'd be 70 today. we're very distantly related so it's okay for me to find him very very very very veeeeerrrrrryyyyy attractive.

help me if you can i'm feeling down

7:54 now.
haven't been sleeping very well but i suppose that's life then. everything builds up until it implodes and rains on me. i just need to get away from here. from everyone. to be alone would be ecstasy but unfortunately i have to be around. yet i don't want to be alone for too long because when that happens my thoughts spill out into the real world and they suffocate me. what to do, indeed.

fantastic mr. fox

'boggis and bunce and bean
one fat
one short
one lean

these horrible crooks
so different in looks
were nonetheless equally mean'

you had me at shalom

old photo


YOU'RE SO FUCKING SPECIAL.

AA

well i got a 25% off code for my birthday, so i bought the cotton spandex jersey double u-neck dress and two pairs of the unisex baby rib briefs.



this is superrrr tight, which i love. depending on how much breast i intend to dole out to the world, i can wear it back-to-front as well which is rather handy actually.




these are REDONKOULOUSLY comfy. wearing the 'cranberry' ones now. but not topless, sorry guys.

SUPERSTAR

daria werbowy - elle canada - sept '10


long ago and oh so far away i fell in love with you before the second show; your guitar, it sounds so sweet and clear, but you're not really there - it's just the radio


superstar - sonic youth

you're a touch overrated, you're a lush and I hate it,
but these grass stains on my knees they won't mean a thing


you're so last summer - taking back sunday

and so castles made of sand, fall in the sea, eventually


castles made of sand - jimi hendrix




rose mcgowan and that ass dress.