meadham kirchhoff

kind of underwhelmed by the meadham kirchhoff for topshop. i like this dress, not that it would look right on me. i just really like the detailing, and the sheer parts. mmmm.




http://uk.powerplate.com/EN/

i went and did this today after college with my mommmerr. it's exhausting.

francooooo

there was james franco. now there is dave franco :) ahhh i knew i recognized him from somewhere. he's cole aaronson from scrubs series 9. and he is delicioussss. admittedly james franco wins, but still. and dave has crazy brows but i kind of love them.

chanel.

i love this :)
i've had a great day, got an A in my c2 paper even though i skipped a question which made nooo sense. i'm just happy today. happy like a happpppy bunny.

i don't know what this is.

anuka baratashvilli. amazing.


i'm so tired. maybe it's just weakness. maybe i'm just tired. maybe i can't do this anymore. i feel like i'm going to crash and burn and i'm absolutely terrified. i can't wait until everything is over. then i can drink and drink and drink until i can't see anymore. until i can't feel and i can't think and i can just lie there in my own desolation and shame. fuck. regardless, i'm working really hard right now. i'm going through all of my history notes and doing spider diagrams for all the questions we did today in the revision session. i'm trying. suddenly i have motivation and also a huge input of shame and disgust. so i suppose i'm going to block out my feelings for the next week or two. fuck fuck fuck.

fuck.

i've suddenly realized how pathetic the amount of time i spend in my bed is. i need to revise but i'm so unmotivated.





The world it's yours my friend
It's yours to begin or to end
Oh the eyes of a dreamer
In the eyes of the man

Take nothing from nothing brother
And it's all just the same
For the loser is the winner
And there ain't no blame
'Cept the end of the game

hello charlie.




FUCK i am literally a pile of shit. i just went out to staples to buy lined paper and pens and i'm going to smash through four past papers, if not more today. i have to stop being such a fuckup

old notes

i've decided that since i can't stay up until 4am again i'll compile a giant list of things i can't stand and a giant list of things i can't help but love and possibly more lists. i'm lame like that. i have a lot of spare time in which i should be revising buttt instead i am making lists. endless, inexhaustible lists. lists of fun. and obsession.

i hate incorrectly used apostrophes, shutter shades, fake ugg boots, real ugg boots, pvc leggings = pvc cameltoe, odd socks, liars, people who fake stupidity, neon legwarmers, armwarmers, color-coordinating obsessively, sugarysweet cocktails, avocados, sun-dried tomatoes, girls in groups all wearing white jeans and different coloured primark tops, fake HOH-like shirts, boyfriend jeans with plimsolls, people who display all their personal problems on facebook; if they meant so much they wouldn't be out on show; anything from JD sports, people who drink WKD, shorts&oxfords&headband combos, people's arsecracks showing, people's bras popping out from their tops, topshop slaves, cunts, too-tight tops, fishnet kneesocks, leggings as trousers, mindless sheep, rah girls, fringe leggings, coloured skinnies, tango tan girls, over-tousled hair, brightly coloured lipstick, the ridiculously colloquial slang of today, seeing the arses of people who can't pull their jeans up and people licking each others faces.
erm. there's more somewhere.
i hate being told that i'll get ink poisoning from my doodles - i won't. fuck off.

girls who pretend to have class; i don't, why should you? people who smoke three tokes of a cigarette and chuck it, people who point out barely-smoked cigarettes on the floor to me, not inhaling, finding that you sat on your grettes and they're now broken, people who pretend to be innocent and clean, complete sluts, "nude", crocs, scene hair, harem pants, peplum skirts, open-heeled shoes [wtf], head-to-toe band merchandise, overtrending, fat people who dress like they're thin, visible extension tracks, people who try and force their religion on people, people who won't stop talking, people who don't talk enough. stingy cunts who won't lend you 10p when that's all that's between you and nicotine, chipping freshly painted nail polish, breaking sunglasses, scenies, teenies, false advertising, insignificant and typical tattoos of stars/names of significant others/something fucking stupid, itchy wrists, itchy shins, itchy anything, hair that won't dry properly, when you don't have anywhere to put your clothes, when you start crying because you're so angry, matching shoes, belt, bag and eyeliner, scrunched gel hair, people who get piercings that they don't know the names of and the horrible sound of some-one trying to pretend they're not crying.

you see, i am a deeply intolerant person.

i love my friends, scrubs, house, futurama, skinny jeans, marlboro reds, miniscule skirts, really tight dresses, budweiser, heineken and stella artois, late night, all-nighters, wake and bake, maryjane, beautiful people you walk past in the street, moments like the ones that you and i remember together, redbull, FML, INO, postsecret, doing the dishes at other people's houses, sleepovers, buttered popcorn, movie nights in, drunk nights out, poker games at becky's, garden parties at the g's, limousines, chrysanthemums, xanga, freak kitchen, chris rock, photo albums, shredded t-shirts, summer nights, sunrises, skype with monique, old friends, LKF, the fact that allegra versace no longer looks so skeletal, lookbook





this is from GCSE. nothing's changed, really. i'm still lonely and i'm still so painfully anxious about everything it's crippling me. actually, things have changed. i'm no longer in the grasp of my ED which is not looking like a positive right now. i don't cut anymore which means i end up eating my feelings. at the height of my ED, my highest weight was 130, lowest 108. i'm about 140 pounds right now. i'm disgusting. how long ago this seems and how i wish i was there again. that's terrible, isn't it?

make-up

today's makeup, just a slick of black liquid eyeliner and a wash of gold. my eyebrow seems to have smeared.


blue solid eyeliner and fuschia lipliner on the eyes, black liner and a bit of mascara. fuschia lipliner and clearpink lipgloss


same look, blushing coral lipstick from clinique.


gold liquid liner and green glitter liner slashes, black mascara. red lipstick, lancome. the lower lip is 'a different grape' by clinique, and for some reason it looks pink. it's more of a purple, like in the next picture.


better look at the whole thing.
when i'm bored of work i do make-up with whatever i can find. i am lusting for a miss.patina dress.